Suicide Threats as a Form of Coercive Control (30 March 2026)

In domestic abuse cases, coercive control is often less visible than physical violence. It can take many forms, including psychological and emotional manipulation designed to dominate another person.

One particularly distressing example is where a partner or family member uses threats of suicide or self-harm to maintain control. This behaviour can leave victims feeling trapped and responsible, making it extremely difficult to leave the relationship.

What is Coercive Control?

Coercive control is a pattern of behaviour used to restrict a person’s independence and freedom. It is not about one incident, but a course of conduct that takes place over time.

Common examples include:

• isolating someone from friends and family;
• controlling finances or access to basic needs;
• monitoring communications, movements, or daily activities;
• repeated criticism, humiliation, or intimidation;
• threats, including threats to harm oneself, the victim, children, or pets.

These behaviours often build gradually and can make a person feel dependent, powerless, and unable to make decisions for themselves.

When Suicide Threats Become Abuse

Threats of suicide or self-harm should always be taken seriously. However, in some cases, they are used as a way to control another person.

This may include:

• threatening to self-harm if a partner tries to leave;
• saying they will take their own life unless certain demands are met;
• making the victim feel responsible for their wellbeing;
• pressurising a former partner to return after separation.

In practice, this can make it extremely difficult for victims to leave a relationship. Many feel they have no choice but to stay, even where the situation is harmful or unsafe.

It is important to recognise that you are not responsible for another person’s actions.

Why This Matters

The courts recognise that domestic abuse is not limited to physical violence. Behaviour that causes fear, distress, or a loss of independence can amount to coercive control.

Even where there are genuine mental health concerns, using threats of suicide to pressure or control another person may still form part of an abusive pattern of behaviour.

Victims in these situations often experience anxiety, depression, loss of confidence, and social isolation. Over time, the impact can be significant and long-lasting.

The Legal Position

In England and Wales, controlling or coercive behaviour is a criminal offence under the Serious Crime Act 2015.

The law applies where there is a pattern of behaviour between people who are personally connected, such as:

• current or former partners;
• family members;
• individuals who share parental responsibility for a child.

Importantly, the law also covers abuse that continues after a relationship has ended, recognising that control does not always stop at separation.

Where individuals are not personally connected (for example, a colleague or neighbour), similar behaviour may still amount to offences such as harassment or stalking under the Protection from Harassment Act 1997.

A Complex Area

Cases involving suicide threats can be difficult. Any threat of self-harm must be treated seriously and may require urgent support.

However, where such threats are used repeatedly to pressure, control, or prevent someone from leaving a relationship, they may form part of a wider pattern of abuse.

Recognising this distinction is key to ensuring victims are properly protected.

Protecting Yourself and Getting Advice

If you are experiencing coercive control or feel unable to leave a relationship due to threats of self-harm, support is available.

Legal protections may include applying for orders to prevent further abuse and to ensure your safety.

Seeking advice at an early stage can help you understand your options and take steps to protect yourself.

Duncan Lewis – Domestic Abuse Solicitors

Duncan Lewis Solicitors is committed to supporting victims of domestic abuse and ensuring access to justice. Our experienced team provides clear, sensitive, and practical advice tailored to your circumstances.

If you are experiencing coercive control or feel unable to leave a relationship due to threats of self-harm, we can help you understand your options and take steps to protect yourself.

Contact us today for a confidential discussion.

About the Author

Elizabeth Beesley is a Paralegal in the Family department at Duncan Lewis Solicitors’ Birmingham office, where she assists vulnerable clients in a range of family law matters including divorce, domestic abuse, and private children matters.

If you require support from our Family team, please contact Elizabeth Beesley via email at ElizabethBe@Duncanlewis.com or via telephone on 02072752577.